It's hard to believe that we just finished our
fifth show. Geralyn and I tend to get
into these very involved discussions about all kinds of things—relationships,
coaching, goals, values communication, motivation, the list goes on and on. Usually, somewhere in the middle of the
conversation, one of us would say “We should be recording this!” So now, not
only do we record a lot of our conversations but we also decided to start doing
a radio show. Geralyn has lots of experience doing shows. Me? Well, not so much,
but I am learning and having a great time. Thanks so much for joining us and we
will do our best to give you lots to think about.
when we first started, I wondered how we would fill an half an hour...
As the show IS
only 30 minutes, Geralyn and I realized that we would almost certainly have
much more to say on most topics. So we thought it might be a good idea to start
a blog. I wanted to start doing this right after the first session but we both have
so many things in the works at the moment that it's taken until now to get
One of our
goals for the show is to have it be interactive. If there's something you'd
like us to talk about or you have any questions, comments or feedback, please
drop us a note or give a call. We also both currently have coaching sessions
available if there’s something you’d like some help with. You can reach me at 717-290-1736 or firstname.lastname@example.org. You can reach Geralyn at 808-261-7866 or Geralyn@voiceofspirit.com. We’re on Facebook—our page is called
Syd and Geralyn http://www.facebook.com/pages/Syd-and-Geralyn/326433000774353
and you can also contact us at www.WholisticUniversity.org
You may have
heard me say during the show that a huge part of a good relationship comes down
to communication. I use the phrase “managing
expectations”. Managing expectations means that you think about your actions
and what results they might bring, and you discuss them with your partner if at
all possible before you take those
actions. Many times things that can cause stress in a relationship happen
because one person doesn’t understand the other person's motivation and actions. If you simply talk about things (I know
it’s a radical idea) many misunderstandings can be avoided totally.
What I'd like to do whenever I do a
blog post is to give you something to try with your partner. The purpose is to
help improve your communication, your awareness and to have some fun together. I'd like to suggest that you keep these
exercises light and playful. This isn't heavy duty therapy here it's just
something to bat around and play with. Remember the goal here is simply to spend some
time with your partner and to enjoy yourselves. After all isn't that supposed
to be one of the benefits of being in a relationship?
Exercise #1 - Perceptual Positions
moment to think back to a discussion that you had with your partner recently.
It can be just about anything. It can even be something that the two of you
didn't totally agree on. (Hint: that's my positive spin or "reframe"
on what some people call a disagreement).
Got one? Good.
1) Now what I want you to do is replay or reenact it.
Stay detached--almost like you're reading a script.
Run through the exchange the way you remember it from
start to finish.
Once you're done, rewind it back to the beginning and do
it again, but this time I want you to imagine that you've switched places with
your partner and you’re speaking as them.
imagine for a moment that you are them, experiencing what they experience
during the discussion. If it was a "disagreement", you're now on
the other side. Go through the conversation again, experiencing it from the other
side. Notice what you notice.
What are you saying, as them?
are you feeling, as them?
do things look like through their eyes?
Take a few minutes to contemplate this perspective
2) Go back to the beginning of the conversation again. This time when
you replay it, imagine the situation from a third person’s view; In other
words, watching yourself and your partner as if you are watching two friends
have a discussion. Again take it from beginning to end.
Pay particular attention to the space between those two
people (you and your partner).
do the two of you look?
do you sound?
What feelings do you get while watching this
from a third person position?
Take a few minutes to contemplate this perspective
3) We've got one more. This time as you run the show, imagine that you’re
way up above the situation. Some people call this the God position. This time
experience the situation as you might if you were God or Spirit or the Field.
Whatever you'd like to call it is fine. What we are going for here is a
perceptual position that is way up above what's going on down there. This is a
position which is all seeing and all knowing.
What does that
What do you notice now?
When you're in this
position not only do you experience the conversation, but all things that are
going on around it as well.
Take some time to
talk about the different things you experienced in each of the different
Looking back on that
situation, how does it seem different now?
should give you something to chew on for a little while. You may find that some
of our blog posts will have a very obvious tie in to that week's show and other
posts will have a different kind of connection. It's just another part of our
journey as we take you from limiting
beliefs to limitless love.
Success Integration Coach
Geralyn St Joseph
Lancaster, PA 17554
©2012 Syd Vitale and Geralyn St Joseph all rights reserved
Sharing of material is permitted with acknowledgement of authors